stranger in a strange land

Far away

2009-10-22T21:41:00.005-04:00

I wish I could be in the only place I want to be,
which is far away but, next to my dream,
my ideal, my passion, my love,
this has a sense of eternity...

Absence

2009-09-21T02:50:00.010-04:00

I can't find the way to shorten my steps to you
you are so far away, and I'm a prisoner of
this place, I'm sick. Yesterday was an important day
and couldn't be there, not even close.
I took the wrong decisition to return,
I regret, I miss you.
Pretty much everything sucks here,
everything sucks when you are far away
I can't be the person I was when I was near you
or just thinking about you
you drove me crazy,
that girl is vanishing, and it's sad
I don't like seeing others close to u
(feel jealous)
I don't like seeing others close to me
(feel mean)
But time moves forward, I wish It could be backwards,
always backwards cause I'm attached to my past;
I will go far north, even far, and be a little closer
I will cover myself with snow, and wait for you
on a frozen lake, to look at the moon, the stars
singing out loud our music, I care world traveler
"nuestros caminos se cruzaran algún día"
you said it love, with a sense of promise.

Dani le loup

2009-08-26T23:57:00.005-04:00

Dani le loup is visiting my mind tonight...
good thing I have to write a paper,
prepare a presentation,
study for the french test...
wow, there's something related to
Dani, the moon, the howl and the night...
his howling is like the music
that blows through my ears!
music and the moon, no any freaking sun!
I deny and refuse all sorts of midnight suns!
now I can scream it!!!!
Dani le loup is visiting me tonight...
but his presence is deaf and blind
I cant touch him, and I can't say no
to the little hint of sadness...

blog

2009-08-25T16:32:00.003-04:00

This blog hurts, it might be good to burn it
ohh! wait a minute, erase it, make it go away
I just need more time to write different stuff
but... that's the thing I don't have "time"
sometimes I think is better this way, having no time for anything, if that means sending to hell all the things that you like to do, like writing stuff, "stuff" cause I don't fall into any category. But I gotta make a living just like anyone else! sometimes I think that means getting close to be a workaholic, I will be just happy just to steal little time from my busy schedule to write. I still have due the big traveling journal.

mon........

2009-08-10T22:50:00.002-04:00

Time is the best healer
this feeling is just right
happier, happier
waiting for the night!

Apologize

2009-07-26T18:00:00.005-04:00

Wow, it's been a while since the last time I wrote a little something in here,
it is strange to be kind of fed up with one topic of writing, Im fed up
but again I feel in a different mood to write. I have a word for the recent times and it is "Apologize"
I apologize to my new topic of writing, I did it wrong and it is now wrecked
and I apologize hoping that it is not too late...
My last topic is almost gone, still hurts, but I can say it sucks no a word for it anymore...

2009-07-01T16:48:00.004-04:00

Están sangrando mis heridas
en medio de la soledad, la lluvia
la luna, la noche
Ha sido un tiempo desde que decidimos no vernos más
yo sólo quiero tu felicidad,
Estoy sanando mis heridas
en medio del recuerdo, tu imagen no se va,
ha sido un tiempo desde que decidimos un beso más
yo sólo quiero tu felicidad!

Quiero que me cedas la mirada y la boca al mismo tiempo,
todos los riesgos dejaran de serlo,
el mundo pasará a ser ese lugar extraño
donde nos reclamaremos las ausencias,
las desconfianzas, los odios y nuestro eterno amor;
después cuando empezabamos a cobijarnos en nuestro abandono,
él (vos) decidió correr porque era tarde,
ella (me) se quedo sangrando sus heridas,
alguien tenía que sacar el eterno enemigo o amigo
(depende del punto de vista) que es el tiempo.
Salimos a la calle fingiendo ser desconocidos
cada uno en una senda rodeado de otros extraños
y ellos (vos, me) empezaron a soñar con los ojos y
las bocas inclementes de ellos mismos
en su amor empedernido...
2009

2009-06-29T02:19:00.003-04:00

Letting out my tears
I can't bottle them
or they will make my eyes explote
they may wash the pain away
but they can't kick out my blues;
mind is a battle ground
being down in the dumps!!!
Where is the source of these feelings?
grieve, mourn, sorrow
disappointment...
every end is a new begin
but still struggle...
to get rid of some thoughts
and these thoughts get stronger,
you are driving me up a wall!!!

2009

I want to wash my blues away!

2009-06-23T22:33:00.004-04:00

Es un día de aquellos en los que sientes una imperiosa necesidad de escribir, te preguntas porqué, y el miedo de los recuerdos perdidos por una memoria traicionera y olvidadiza, hace que venzas el miedo y trates de ejercitar la mente en busca de aquellos segundos que dejaron un grabado en los rincones de tu cerebro. El tiempo transcurre de forma lenta y asfixiante, la vida se torna aburrida y monótona, los recuerdos se disipan lentamente, pero los resultados continúan, entonces es cuando me empiezo a preguntar, el que me ha llevado a ser como soy, y la respuesta está en cada una de esas vivencias, en cada una de las reacciones, en cada uno de los segundos, cuyos grabados se desvanecen lentamente por la acción del tiempo y de una vida nueva sin mayor sobresalto.

2009

Once upon a time I cared...

2009-06-22T21:20:00.004-04:00

Once upon a time, I CARED,
Once upon a time, I CARE,
Once upon a time, I WILL SAY I CARED,
Once upon a time, I WILL SAY I DON'T CARE
But I care...

Obsessed with this old jam...

"Maybe Someday by the cure"

No I won't do it again, I don't want to pretend

If it can't be like before I've got to let it end

I don't want what I was, I had a change of head

But maybe someday...Yeah maybe someday

I've got to let it go and leave it gone

Just walk away, stop it going on

Get too scared to jump if I wait too long

But maybe someday...

I'll see you smile as you call my name

Start to feel, and it feels the same

And I know that maybe someday's come

Maybe someday's come...Again!

So tell me someday's come tell me some days come again...

If I could do it again maybe just once more

Think I could make it work like I did it before

If I could try it out

If I could just be sure

That maybe someday is the last time

Yeah maybe someday is the end

Oh maybe someday is when it all stops

Or maybe someday always comes again...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFPlEpi__wc

Story #2

2009-06-20T21:35:00.001-04:00

You have to pack right now! Hurry time is passing by.
-Oh you know I feel lazy, I don´t want to move, even leave all that I have behind, I don’t know if I am going to find it the same way it was when I’ll come, if I come back.
-Do you feel scared?
-Yes I feel scared and strange, leaving my world and having to face new ways of being myself, I feel excited and blue at the same time, all of that makes my body feel lazy, my body is getting roots to this bed, but my mind wants to run away.
-Don’t talk about silly stuff, present is now, go and get your future, I told you.
-Yeah yeah… clothes, clothes, I’m going to take useless stuff and I’ll see, figure it out later. Would you mind packing for me? Again I feel really lazy and I don’t want to move, I have better things to think than just practical and necessary clothes.
-ok what would you need?
-Oh pack my whole house, my friends and family and I will be all set.
- ha ha ha! Are you nuts? Are you kidding me?
- No, I’m serious, packing is difficult that’s why I asked you to help me out. Do you understand me now? That’s why I feel lazy, I might be having second thoughts.
-I just don’t understand when you are serious or not!
-Nobody knows, not even me
-Anyway, I will help you
-Thanks, I think some of the clothes in the closet would be fine
-And, what about the weather, are you prepared?
-Yep, I think so, my old shirt will help in cold days, despite it is made for warm weather, do you know what I mean…?
-No! and I think I’m never going to understand your strange way of being, all that bla bla bla, just to avoid some tears or just say that at the last minute you are regretting your decision of leave, or just say you will miss everything!
-I think you are right, but I am not that kind of plain person, I am a human and I feel scared once in a while.
-You should have never enrolled in that program!
-But I did, and now am at this point.
2007

La curiosidad mató al gato

2009-06-19T17:10:00.004-04:00

Cuantas veces hemos escuchado este refrán "La curiosidad mató al gato" sin embargo, siempre suena de forma refrescante, de forma nueva, cada vez que aparece tiene una nueva connotación, en este caso para mi "La curiosidad mató al gato" pasa a ser "La curiosidad revivio el gato" bueno he sido asesinada varias veces por ser una Luna curiosa, pero como tengo tantas vidas puedo renacer de nuevo.

Tal vez un ave fenix con algo o mucho de gato curioso jaja un hibrido. Me muero de curiosidad! pero da tanto miedo; ya que por tratar de saber más puedo llegar a conocer todo aquello que estaba en el misterio y asi desaparecería la magia y mi gato habra muerto de nuevo. No sé cuantas vidas tiene mi curioso gatointerno siempre las sentí ilimitadas, pero ahora "I got the feeling que son limitadas" y mi ave fenix se ha ido a volar o talvez la deje en otras tierras.

Por descubrir un misterio hace días, quedé en estado de shock, con insomnio y totalmente abstraida como dormida-despierta, muerta en vida, mis sentidos se bloqueron y tenía un dolor constante en el pecho casi insoportable, fueron unos días dificiles, mi pecho aún duele y no me permite respirar, pero estoy haciendo el esfuerzo de eso se trata. Pero mi alma me está gritando que la lleve a contemplar por medio de mis ojos nuevos lugares, nuevas esencias, nuevos sonidos; pero me niego porque mis pies se están anclando a está tierra dolorosa, cada paso que doy en esta tierra llena de espinas y puas me duele, mi cuerpo se ancla, mientras mi alma quiere volar, liberarse.

Me muero de curiosidad, la curiosidad mató al gato, no quiero malgastar las pocas vidas de mi gatointerno, soy curiosa por naturaleza, la vida sin misterios es un sonsonete barato.
En fin............ mañana será un nuevo día
2009

3 years

2009-06-18T04:21:00.003-04:00

No quiero dejar San Francisco

No quiero dejar Boston

No quiero Bogotá

Quiero New York

Quiero Estocolmo

Quiero Nowhere

Futuro incierto... da miedo

Musik är glädje

2009-06-18T00:38:00.007-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIVh8Mu1a4Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcjqdHzI-sM

Little butterfly come back to....

Dreamer's prayer

2009-06-17T20:45:00.000-04:00

I'm against all the odds
I'm strong, a strong soul
with a good heart.

I'm special, I'm a God's child,
no difficult time will let me down,
no disparity will fade my smile,
no obstacle will stop me from dreaming.

Because I'm special,
I'm a God's child.

No distance will make me weak
no loneliness will make me sad
because I'm strong,
with good heart.

I'm a God's child!

Hannah 2007

Heaven knows I feel miserable now

2009-06-17T20:26:00.010-04:00

Cant get this off my head
I miss you sooooooo much!
I just want you around, I just need you around!
Jump off, I will catch you,
I will destroy everything that is keeping us down,
and then I will love you, I will take care of you, I will protect you!
At the end you don't have to explain,
I understand, I will understand...
It's understood
2009

2009-06-16T12:39:00.000-04:00

Siempre habrá gente que te lastime,
así que lo que tienes que hacer,
es seguir confiando,
y sólo ser más cuidadoso en quien confías por segunda vez.
Gabriel García Marquez

Resilience

2009-06-16T00:45:00.001-04:00

I don't feel like writing today, I am physically exhausted, also Im kind of sick, so not in the mood to create stories; but on my other pain, I feel a lil better today, finally! I thought It was going to take forever I hope it won't, I don't want to hate or love, I don't want to feel, I don't want to live, I don't want to die, I just want to heal and smile again.
I need you to put music for me, make me laugh, I knew it is so hard to revive death things, but we knew how passionate could be to see the remains burning in fire once again.
I want to hate you, find you, love you, lose you, hate you, love you again, I want to stay away, I want to erase my mind.....
2009

2009-06-13T01:05:00.001-04:00

Ora che Lei non sta seguendo, io posso mostrarla
Notte serale. Amarlo era come amando il morto
ma io perdo che così molto,
Mi così molto manca già Lei.
2009

2009-06-12T22:23:00.001-04:00

........it..................is..................not.........................fair...........
..................just......................................silence........................
.................not...............fair...........at.........all...........................
......I..........have................to.........put............an..................end.....
................to.................the................long...............grief.............
...it................is........................not..........................fair...........
........that........you........are..........dead......but.......alive......somewhere.......
........close............and.........far...........at.......the........same............TIME

...........................................

2009-06-04T23:48:00.003-04:00

Que extraño poder logra el tacto, como si una vez que los cuerpos se han hablado, el encuentro de la mente es otro, nunca más retorna al estado anterior, a aquel momento exacto y preciso, al previo en que la respiración latió.

Blue sky

2009-06-04T23:12:00.002-04:00

He's back, He's back. I'm not asking you stay forever if you don't want to; a few numbers on a dial, few steps, long enough to see the sun down and rise and down again. Long enough to slow it down, no hurry! Take hold of your pain, let it fly away; there's no shame stand still, this time close the door no more secrets for a little moment you are mine!
Here in my blue self it's safe and warm; I will show you where... just here in my sad self. Grab this velvet arms around you and surround yourself; you can hide in here.

Im under your curse now, I want to take out your love, but its locked in a vault, vault...
I want to take up your love, but its locked in a vault, that vault...
Close your eyes you can be back, just close enough for you to see somewhere you want it. Take it all, we got all we ever need; I'll take you in dreams.
2009

I had to find a new home

2009-06-02T23:30:00.001-04:00

She just told me straight, you are out! you need to find another place to live; the reasons why, are too boring to tell, the fact is "I have to find a new home" so she can come back and then I have to leave. The thought of this just creeps me out, I have to go again, that's why I never finish unpacking, and I wonder when I was last home, I thought it was the time in which I was inside her, she doesnt care... and I have to find a new home.
2009

de los pasillos ocultos del subconsciente

2009-05-28T19:15:00.001-04:00

Era un carro blanco grande algo deforme, a pesar del tiempo él todavía tenia esa apariencia de hace unos años, ibamos hacía un lugar desconocido acompañados de dos personas sentadas en el asiento de atras, como si estuvieran en segundo plano, un hombre y una mujer, cuyo recuerdo mi memoria ha traicionado, pero no por que no tuvieran importancia en el desarrollo de los acontecimientos, solo que su presencia estaba rodeada de una nebulosa, que nos alcanzaba a nosotros, ellos muy misteriosos.

El carro avanzaba mientras todos tratabamos de decidir nuestro destino, yo estaba sentada en la silla del acompañante, pero también podía conducir el auto, todo estaba tan tranquilo que daba miedo, de repente cuando ya teniamos fijo nuestro destino, el camino empezó ha hacerse más dificil, cada metro era mas empinado que el anterior, hubo un momento en el que pensamos que esto iba a a parar y que solo se trataba de una cuesta mas, pero no, terminamos llevando el carro de nuestros destinos en una calle totalmente vertical, yo desistí, pense que lo mejor sería devolvernos y no continuar, rendirnos y dejar asi; pero él me alento a continuar desde su presencia tan cercana pero a la vez tan distante. En un momento aparecio un semaforo en rojo, nos detuvimos en nuestro camino de nuevo, yo me asuste porque el freno no iba a aguantar tanto, sabía que aquel semaforo que nos detuvo no sería eterno, pero mientras permanecia aquella luz estabamos detenidos en el tiempo mientras el freno se deterioraba gradualmente.

Era el momento de partir, el carro retrocedio tanto que parecia que hubiese retrocedido en el tiempo a su punto de partida, volvimos a empezar y tu seguiste con el empeño de contunuar en esta travesía llegamos al semaforo de nuevo, esta vez la luz estaba en verde. cuando pense que no había salida y que era el fin, el camino volvio a ser horizontal, tenias razón!!!

Llegamos a un pueblo viejo, olvidado y mágico tu estabas seguro a donde querias ir, esa caja blanca cuyos habitantes erizaron mi piel, nos recibio a los 4 y te ofrecio unos frasquitos de contenido desconocido, estaban en una canasta tejida rodeada de pequeños huesos, me asuste de nuevo pero tu querias entrar y no te iba a dejar solo, de repente nuestros acompañantes nos envolvieron en un manto gris y volvimos a ser prisioneros, pero esta vez no de nosotros mismos, sino de los demas, de esos acompañantes, un hombre y una mujer, cuyo recuerdo mi memoria mi memoria ha traicionado.
2009

2009-05-18T22:28:00.001-04:00

For the first time, I've tried reading a writer that I always avoid reading; I thought her name was kind of cliché, and the titles of her books weren't good enough for me, but her books keep bumping in my life several times, and I realized is time to start with Paula, all that I can say from now is that I am starting to feel captivated...